Eye of the Tiger!

As usual, it's been a while since my last post. Probably because I was in a holding pattern for a while. My doc FINALLY called me back after 3 weeks of continued phone messages...and then when I missed his call, it took another week for him to get back in touch with me, despite multiple calls back. He was out of town twice in that three week period. I don't blame my doc. I blame his staff. When he called me back, he didn't know why I had called, despite multiple messages. Bleh.
The long and short of it is, I'm having a HSG on Monday. That stands for hysterosalpingogram. It's an xray with contrast dye. I'll find out more afterwards about what my odds are of being able to carry a baby to term. But for now, I'm trying to focus on other things. It's not my time yet.
I've gone back on the UAMS plan for the time being. My weight had gotten out of control again. I wasn't all the way back to where I was when I started the plan the first time, but I was almost twenty pounds over my goal weight. My goal is to go beyond my previous "goal weight" and really make an impact on my health and on my future. It's time to stop "settling" for the easier goal. I realize that I am lazy...that I like to relax and hope that my body will decide to be a supermodel on its own. I like to watch TV with a drink in my hand, not eat a carrot and go for a run. But it's time to wake up and face reality. It's great that I am a vegetarian, but it's not great that the seafood I choose to keep as part of my diet is often fried and/or dipped in a mayonnaise-based sauce. It's great that I have cut out all sodas and caffeine, but it's not great that I haven't doubled my water consumption to make up for that.
I'm going to need to cut out cheese for a while. The hard facts--1 ounce of cheese is approximately 100 calories, depending on the type of cheese. Here's the shocker--one ounce is a one-inch cube. Say WHAT?! Aside from meat, which I don't eat anymore, it's one of the most calorie-dense things out there. And I eat a lot of it. Nuts are good for me, but not in the quantities I eat. I also drink a lot. If I could actually keep it to one glass of red wine after dinner, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. But I usually drink two, and my wine glasses are HUGE. So I'll need to cut out all my alcohol for a while, with exceptions made for special occasions.
My excuse lately has been the plus-sized modeling. Well, if I'm a size 10, it's possible I could still keep getting the jobs, providing the folks I work with still want to work with me. I don't know if I'm physically capable of getting to a size eight, based on my build. So size ten is an initial goal for me. If we still have "room for improvement", I can set a new goal.
My first hurdle is conquering the "hunger" I always feel. It's not always hunger--it's sometimes boredom or a negative emotion that masquerades as "you need to eat something." Right now, my stomach is growling, so I know I'm actually hungry. I'm going to drink a bottle of water first, and then grab a snack of fresh veggies to tide me over until dinner time. It will get easier every day. I can do this!