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Okay. I don't know whether to blame my doctor or his staff, but I'm completely fed up with the Cornerstone Clinic For Women. I LIKE my doctor, but I have been treated in an abhorrent manner. My doctor told me in January that I had some sort of uterine birth defect. I called in early February to ask if I needed to do anything/know anything before trying to have a baby in the future. The nurse told me YES, that they would need to determine exactly what sort of defect I had and the extent of it to see whether or not I should try to get pregnant at all. But she'd need to talk to my doctor first to determine exactly what kind of test I need to have. But the doctor was out of town and would have to get back to me on Monday when he was back in town. They did not return my (oft repeated) phone calls for three weeks. Every time I called they told me my chart was on his desk and that he'd get back to me. After three weeks, I was told he was out of town AGAIN. I got a little emotional on the phone, especially considering nobody seemed to know why I was calling. I got a call back from the doctor himself the next week. He left me a voicemail after hours one day, but since the receptionist was gone, even though I called right back, I couldn't reach him. Of course, I wasn't able to reach him for yet another week. When I spoke to him, he had NO IDEA WHY I HAD CALLED HIM. Even though I had been asked a million times why I was calling by the staff, this information was not passed on to him. When I told him what my questions was, the conversation took all of fifteen minutes. He scheduled me for an HSG (hysterosalpinogram) the following Monday.
An HSG is performed by a radiologist. They inject contrast material into your uterus while taking continual x-rays. It was very interesting to watch, but a little uncomfortable. I saw very clearly that my uterus is tilted to the side and misshapen. It looked as if the "top wall" (for lack of a better term) was collapsing.
The radiologist told me my doctor would have the results that same day. Of course, I didn't get a call.
I called the next day and got a return call from a nurse who had no idea why I was calling, of course. When she called me back later, she was reading from something that said I either had a septate or bicornuate uterus, but that they thought it was septated. They said an MRI would be better at determining what it was, and I told them I had already had a CAT Scan. And I wondered aloud why he recommended a test that wouldn't tell him for sure what I had. In my "expert" opinion based on photos I have seen online and what I thought my uterus looked like in the scan, I thought it might actually be arcuate, which is not quite as serious as a septate uterus. Having a septated uterus causes an EXTREMELY high rate of miscarriage in both early and late pregnancy as well as preterm labor. It is very difficult to carry a baby to term. In some cases, they can operate to remove it, but that is not always an option. In any event, I am suspected of having the most serious Mullerian Duct defect there is, and "they don't handle that." She told me they were referring me to a fertility specialist nearby. So I guess I won't be darkening the doorstep of that clinic again. I suppose they wanted me to have one last test they could charge me for before letting me go. Which is extremely suspicious, considering they don't handle cases like the one they suspected me of having.
So, I don't normally do this, but I would like to say that every woman out there should avoid Dr. Kenneth Singleton's office unless they are 100% sure that they will have a normal pregnancy with no complications. I would also recommend that any potential patients out there be okay with having little to no access to their doctor for weeks at a time and be okay with his staff ignoring you. I should have known the first time we called when his nurse was exceptionally rude to my husband that, even if he came highly recommended, that it takes more than someone being likable to ensure a good experience. It is pretty clear that their office has too many patients to be able to deal with someone who isn't currently in labor. I know that there are plenty of people out there who can get pregnant if someone sneezes in their direction, and who can drop a baby like they are having a litter of kittens, but if you aren't, this isn't the clinic for you.
I am trying not dwell on it, but this starts a new chapter in my life. I look forward to meeting Dr. B, and hope that this experience won't suck the life out of me like the last one did. It could certainly put a drain on our pocketbooks, since insurance doesn't cover fertility treatments. Any stupid kid who can't keep it in their pants can have a baby and their parents' insurance will cover their hospital stay. But responsible people who want to have a baby can't get anything covered. Oh, I know...it's because fertility is a privilege, not a right. And being infertile isn't life threatening. But where's the fairness in knowing you may not be able to afford to come out of pocket 100% to have a surgery that will ensure that a baby won't have to die if you accidentally get pregnant, since your body can't physically support it? Right-to-lifers, take THAT up as your mission.

Eye of the Tiger!

As usual, it's been a while since my last post. Probably because I was in a holding pattern for a while. My doc FINALLY called me back after 3 weeks of continued phone messages...and then when I missed his call, it took another week for him to get back in touch with me, despite multiple calls back. He was out of town twice in that three week period. I don't blame my doc. I blame his staff. When he called me back, he didn't know why I had called, despite multiple messages. Bleh.
The long and short of it is, I'm having a HSG on Monday. That stands for hysterosalpingogram. It's an xray with contrast dye. I'll find out more afterwards about what my odds are of being able to carry a baby to term. But for now, I'm trying to focus on other things. It's not my time yet.
I've gone back on the UAMS plan for the time being. My weight had gotten out of control again. I wasn't all the way back to where I was when I started the plan the first time, but I was almost twenty pounds over my goal weight. My goal is to go beyond my previous "goal weight" and really make an impact on my health and on my future. It's time to stop "settling" for the easier goal. I realize that I am lazy...that I like to relax and hope that my body will decide to be a supermodel on its own. I like to watch TV with a drink in my hand, not eat a carrot and go for a run. But it's time to wake up and face reality. It's great that I am a vegetarian, but it's not great that the seafood I choose to keep as part of my diet is often fried and/or dipped in a mayonnaise-based sauce. It's great that I have cut out all sodas and caffeine, but it's not great that I haven't doubled my water consumption to make up for that.
I'm going to need to cut out cheese for a while. The hard facts--1 ounce of cheese is approximately 100 calories, depending on the type of cheese. Here's the shocker--one ounce is a one-inch cube. Say WHAT?! Aside from meat, which I don't eat anymore, it's one of the most calorie-dense things out there. And I eat a lot of it. Nuts are good for me, but not in the quantities I eat. I also drink a lot. If I could actually keep it to one glass of red wine after dinner, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. But I usually drink two, and my wine glasses are HUGE. So I'll need to cut out all my alcohol for a while, with exceptions made for special occasions.
My excuse lately has been the plus-sized modeling. Well, if I'm a size 10, it's possible I could still keep getting the jobs, providing the folks I work with still want to work with me. I don't know if I'm physically capable of getting to a size eight, based on my build. So size ten is an initial goal for me. If we still have "room for improvement", I can set a new goal.
My first hurdle is conquering the "hunger" I always feel. It's not always hunger--it's sometimes boredom or a negative emotion that masquerades as "you need to eat something." Right now, my stomach is growling, so I know I'm actually hungry. I'm going to drink a bottle of water first, and then grab a snack of fresh veggies to tide me over until dinner time. It will get easier every day. I can do this!