2010--the year of ME

Happy New Year, everyone!

I'm going to be thirty in a few days. THIRTY. Dirty thirty. Geez. I don't FEEL thirty...but I'm noticing a few things. I have veins popping up the back of my hands, which really freaked me out the first time I noticed it. I have bags under my eyes and little wrinkles. I'm also a lot more forgetful than I used to be...although my mind was never a steel trap. And, of course, my weight just wants to be disagreeable.

We joined a new gym a couple of months ago, and I like it okay. The machines there are actually better than the ones at my last gym, so that's good. I managed to get REALLY out of shape in just a couple of weeks. I guess that's what the holidays will do to you. I need to tighten things up, but I can't lose more than one size and keep the plus sized modeling gigs. Unless I get down to a size 6, and I really don't see that happening.

I haven't had any meat (on purpose) for a couple of months now. I did accidentally eat some in a casserole, but I guess that's always a danger. I am eating a lot of seafood, so that's fun. I need to work on eating smaller meals more often throughout the day. And I'm STILL not eating breakfast. I should know better, I know...but I just hate eating in the morning. I haven't had ANY carbonated beverages and very little (if any) caffeine--I wasn't willing to give up hot chocolate. I rarely get headaches these days, unless I'm dehydrated. I'm trying to stick to only one glass of red wine a night, but that's not going as well. Maybe Whole Foods carries boxed wine...

I'm gearing up for auditions at Murry's Dinner Playhouse. I need to focus on working as much as possible in theater/modeling/commercial work so that I can transition into doing that as my "real" job. This is going to be the year I make that happen. I'm really determined to make this happened. I'm getting really antsy about it, and am ready to finally be able to say that I do what I always set out to do. It's reached the point where I am just plain impatient. Back in college, I knew that I was a good actress, and a good enough singer to do musical theater and get some pretty decent roles. It's about time I got paid for it as my real job. I've got lots of power ballads running through my head, about how nobody and no one is going to stop me now. (Defying Gravity, I Am Changing, Nobody's Going to Rain on My Parade, Rose's Turn, etc.) It's on. I have GOT to do this now, before I have kids. Time to stop waiting for the stars to align. It's time to push the stars into place.


Random question: why is it that every time I am feeling good and gung ho about being healthy the stupid "Perfect Brownie" commercial comes on, and all bets are off? I mean, don't get me wrong. I'll probably buy one. I'm just saying.